after monday, this week has actually been soo chill, too bad we still gotta do the tok essay.
but w/e thats wat he have sunday for.
hmmm
ive noticed, that ive been noticing things about myself recently
its not rlly stuff that i bring on myself, but occasionally something happens nd im like o tru thats actually tru. its kinda weird....
im kinda confused...
all my life, like legit from kindergarten, ive wanted to be a doctor.
i know wat that sounds like, o look, another brown kid that wants to be a doctor, swag.
but my parents had no influence in this, they said i could be watevr i wanted
k not nything, but as long as it was well idk actually
i honestly admired my doctors from a young age and the fact that the purpose of their jobs was to help people just appealed to me
so ever since then, my mind was firm. i was gonna go to med skool then become a doctor, live the rest of my life, and all would be awesome.
for the first time in my life tho, im actually not sure of wat i want to do. theres so many interesting things out there. esp recently, psychology has been amazingly interesting. (maybe criminal minds has more to do with this then i would like to admit, but yeah :P) so just being like maybe a psychiatrist or something like a profiler for the fbi would b legit as well (not rlly that shits way too intense)
theres just so many options out there. so many things that i would like to do, but again, resources (time) is scarce, so im gonna have to choose just one
that always leaves the "what if" question. would i have been better off if i did something differently?
basically identity crisis - not bipolar or nything
i just feel as if i act differently around different people. for example, im much diff at home nd a bunch of other places than i am at skool nd vice versa, but which one is the "real" me?
ToK moment :P
i thnk all of us at some degree r trying to find ourselves, and its just part of maturing and growin up, but i dnt thnk that theres ny way of actually completely understanding yourself. trying to do it w/ someone else i thnk would b easier.
w/e tho, ill keep looking for things that mite not even b there
ive also noticed, there are some ppl that u just feel right talking to. idk. maybe im just naive, but ignorance is bliss. its kinda funny how ppl are completely diff wen ur talking online nd then in real life its like theyr a completely different person.
its interesting tho, all this reminds me of something i read on another blog about true freinds. id have to disagree with a few things. true freinds can also just be someone you can be comfortable with, not the fact that you have to talk about deep stuff. as long as you feel comfortable, thats all that matters.
sometimes, ignorance is bliss
Do you ever wonder at what point you gotta say just f*** it, man? |
when, if ever do you completely give up on something?
